where has ana boot camp gone?

ok ,succefully fasted yesterday, which made my muscles a little sore
so today:
ate:
skinny dolce latte..190
pretzels..100
6"veggi subway, Xcheeze, Xsauce ..120
protien bar (11g) ..180
bread..90

workout:
sprints on incline, 10 min burns ..250
1 hour &1/2 lifting weights..about 300

then protien supp..160
NET: 130
plus muscle!

feel like shit
i used to be 96 lbs.. now im 112 ;( . and gained in inches and .. feel so  fat and bloated. im only 5 ft 4 so i look really fat.... my sister taller than me yet weights the same but she looks superthin. but she is thin. stupid her stuffing her face in food with her high metabolims eating whatever the hell she wants. :(. whilst i try on her size 6 clothes and feel fat in them. and she going ' oh thats bad . thats looks b ad on you. too tight'. what gives her the rigth to say stuff like that... I used to be skiinnier than her.. Erghhh just want to be skinny... its soo hard at home.. though.. at work its ok.. dont even get hungry at lunch. .the only thing thats bad is my sister who also works and most days has the same lunch time as me.. so i have to eat like a disgusting fattty sandwich in front of her to show that I have 'recovered''..... i only eat watermelon at lunh.. its soo filling.. :).. or diet coke. lol. .I wanna go back to uni and be skinnnier than ever .. iv got in the habit of b/p as well. never used to b/p but after restricing for soo long just wanna eat like everything.. fuck this .. i just wanna be thin again;(...

 So my mom and boyfriend (he just found out/realized I have an ED a few weeks ago) are trying to be really supportive and get me to recover, but I don't want to.  My mom's had to deal with my ED for years now, but for the last year or so I fully recovered while I was away at school.  I came home and it's more severe than ever.  Now she gets so frustrated and gets mad at me and that only discourages me from eating 100 times as much... I told her that today and the conversation was going really well and she said a little thing that upset me a lot- I don't even remember what it was right now- and then she snapped and got sooo bitchy, and everything got worse.  After this I've decided to go on a 48 hour fast- I probably wont after I calm down some, but right now I'm so angry I never want to eat again.  And even if I wasn't angry I never want to eat again, but I try to eat for her and my boyfriend, but more for my mom- we're really close and it kills her when I do this.  To make matters worse, she told me that she can't be my reason to recover and that I'm just going to keep FAILING at recovery unless I do it for myself.  While I know this is true, I don't want to recover, but the only thing keeping me eating at all is trying to please her... so her statement was the most discouraging thing I've every heard because I really don't think I'll be able to recover and using the word failure?  Horrible choice of words because that's what I feel like in general, and that's part of why I don't eat.  And I don't think I'll ever be able to eat "normally".  I physically can't eat more than a couple hundred calories a day- and she doesn't get it.  She says to get over it and that I have to just push what I'm uncomfortable with and eat more than 1200 calories a day... right now I feel like I'll die if I eat more than 500 cal/day.  She really doesn't understand this at all.

If you have half of these you may be at risk of an ED......


Some danger signs:

Y a extreme focus on weight, putting almost everything else aside
Y preoccupation with being thin or even skinny
Y an exaggerated fear of gaining weight
Y a thin body coupled with the feeling of still being fat
Y over-exercising: over an hour a day
Y taking laxatives to lose weight
Y making yourself vomit to eliminate food
Y instances of overeating without control, on a regular basis
Y loss of menstrual cycles
Y strange rules about food; bizarre food rituals
Y feeling ashamed about eating, or bingeing/purging, or about your looks or self
Y regular feelings of anxiety, fear or inferiority
Y feeling a loss of control about the world, your life, your body
Y feeling a sense of control over things through food and eating behaviors


Well I don't have half...

I'm SO not for "ana buddiezzz"
but if anybody would like to get to know, talk to and support eachother
let me know.

Has anyone here found any reason not to kill yourself yet? I don't expect to find any, but I am looking still, while I can.

hey ladies. so yesterday i did pretty well, had 310cals. today so far:

1/2 mango- 50cals
1/2 granola bar- 45cals

ugh, girls, ive been running everyday for 2 miles, and i have a personal trainer i see tuesdays and thursdays. i sorta got on the track of just eating "healthy" (which was about 1200 cals a day for me) but i NEVER saw any difference in weight loss! i know its supposed to take like 2 weeks, but ive been doing this for like a month and till no weight loss, so im going back to restricting with my hard core workouts so hopefully i WILL see a change. what do you guys think?

I gained five pounds from a week of bingeing =[ I know that it was because i was away from home and i thought that it was okay to let myself free. But look what happened so i am going on a fast today and tomorrow. It wont get rid of the five pounds but it'll do something. So i hope you lovelies are doing good and ill repost l8er.
love ya

 any ideas for rewards for reaching a goal weight?

thankss xx

ss and tt <3

Gotta go babysitting in a min so long story short

Ate way too much today, pizza hut pizza and ice cream when out with friends, plus snack a jack and chocolate bar and bran flakes.

But had good day out with friends and i'll fast tommorow XD

And my collar bones are finally starting to show through yay. Off to baby sitting xx

Under the cut are 2 recipes for cauliflower and the leaves around the outside. I thought you guys would appreciate them :)

( Cauliflower and Spinach curry )( Cauliflower Leaf Soup )

Enjoy! <3

5'8" and 135.8lbs (it's a start). Hopefully 130 by Sunday.

-Nik L.

hi :)

I'm having a wonderful morning. I don't know why. I've woken up in this great mood!

I'm about to make a coffee (75 cal) and have a banana (125 cal) for breakfast..

I feel thinner this morning despite eating ~2000 calories yesterday.. maybe it boosted my metabolism since I was eating little to nothing for days before.
next Wednesday I need to find a scale to weigh myself on (I don't have one at home) because this is my weigh-in date and I better be 103 lbs!

let's chat? I'm on aim, laawlatchuu

have a great day! you all deserve it.

stupid i.

cw: 45.1 (99lbs)
gw:43
ugw:40ish

woke up at 1. had 1 egg white and 1 small slice and a half slice of cheese pie.(sort of) (like max 270 calories)

went out. walked 2 and a half hours. ( - some caories)

got home. mom insisted on ordering pizza. ate 3 slices. and 1 tomato. (aprox.550 calories)

i feel so stupid. my mom will insist on eating again. now it's 7.40PM. and i will definitely won't feel hungry until tomorrow.

i threw the pizza away. i'll tell her i ate it and that i don't feel hungry now.

intake: about 850.

:| :| :|. yes, i said i don't want to continue loosing weight dramatically. but 850 calories. i'm a fat cow. i'll run on the treadmill. -300 calories.
 

 Hey everyone!
Just been out with my friend - we ended up going for dinner and she wouldn't let me order a salad but I managed not to eat too much so could've been worse. At least it got me out of dinner with my mum which would've been worse. And I got to do lots of walking in the sunshine :)
Hope you're all well!
Stay strong and keep smiling :) x